Caring from afar Note · 4 min read

Looking after a parent, and yourself: the signs of carer burnout

Tired all the time, short-tempered, guilty whatever you do. Caring wears people down. How to notice it in yourself, and what actually helps

The Pushpa team · 3 sources

Pushpa notes23

And you, this week

You matter too

Rohan takes Sunday’s calls
My own check-up, booked
One evening off this week

And you?

The person who keeps the medicine list, books the appointments and takes the 2 am call rarely stops to ask how they are doing. Caring for a parent, from nearby or from another continent, is work. In a 2025 AARP study, one in five US family caregivers reported poor health, and half said caregiving had hurt them financially

1 in 5

family caregivers report poor health of their own (AARP & NAC, Caregiving in the US 2025)

Signs it's getting too much

MedlinePlus lists the signs of caregiver stress. You may recognise a few

Feeling overwhelmed, alone or isolated
Sleeping too much or too little, and feeling tired most of the time
Losing interest in things you used to enjoy
Being easily irritated or angry, or often worried or sad
Frequent headaches or body aches
Drinking or smoking more

Over time, MedlinePlus warns, that stress raises the risk of depression, anxiety, a weaker immune system and long-term illness. The Family Caregiver Alliance's advice is to recognise the warning signs early, before they become a crisis

What actually helps

Make a list of tasks and share them out. A sibling can take the Sunday call, a cousin the hospital paperwork
Take a real break. The Family Caregiver Alliance suggests starting with half an hour, once a week
Talk to people who understand: a friend who has done it, or a caregivers' support group
Keep your own appointments. You can't look after her from a hospital bed
Let go of the guilt. Being far away doesn't mean you're doing too little

How Pushpa helpsPushpa takes the daily check-in off your list. One evening call, one morning report, the whole family on the same page, so you can stop being the only one who remembers everything